You say:
“Calm down!”
Your child hears:
“Challenge accepted.”
Suddenly, the crying gets louder, the stomping gets harder, and now everyone in the house is emotionally supporting the family dog.
Here’s the thing.
When kids are overwhelmed, the thinking part of their brain has temporarily gone on a coffee break. They aren’t choosing to ignore you, they’re having a hard time accessing the skills they need in that moment.
Instead of saying, “Calm down.”
Try This:
👉 “I’m right here with you.”
👉 “Let’s take one superhero breath together.
👉 “Your body is telling me this is really hard.”
👉 “We’ll figure this out together.”
When kids feel understood, they’re much more likely to calm down than when they feel corrected.
You’re not rewarding the meltdown.
You’re teaching your child how to borrow your calm until they can find their own.
Superhero Tip: If your child could calm down just because someone told them to, they probably would’ve done it five minutes ago.
Mom Question: Which one of these phrases are you going to try the next time big feelings show up?
Big feelings don’t come with an instruction manual, but this helps! Download the FREE Feelings Wheel and give your child an easy way to talk about what’s going on inside.
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